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art is my therapy

Quick update...

I don’t want to be at work right now. 

So much has been going on the past two months.  I’m not big on the frenetic, fast paced life that seems to be the norm nowadays.  I don’t function well with that type of schedule, unless it's short term.  Usually I actively try to keep things quieter, slower, whenever possible.  But that’s been an impossible task the past couple of months.  What’s been going on?

On June 20th, Randy and Rae Ann got married.  I was the photographer for the event.  That was uber stressful, though once I got going, the stress disappeared.  But the last couple of days leading up to the event?  Horribly stressful!  I just psyched myself out!  Then there was Flag Day, then a couple of parties I helped put on to say good-bye to Randy and Rae Ann before they left for Texas.  Then the relatives invaded and then my sisters and I put on a 50th Anniversary party for my parents.  Then all the relatives left, taking my parent’s with them on a week long cruise.  I had that week free and clear, even took a couple of days off from work, but I was so spent and so burned out that I barely began to recover before I had an intensive painting class every single night the week after that.  Then Randy and Rae Ann left.  Then my parents got home and my mother went into the hospital to have a double knee replacement surgery. 

I think that’s the major stuff.  See, very busy!  And I’m not even going into the emotional and physical exhaustion from all this.  That’s taken quite a toll on me.

My mother had the surgery on Tuesday, so she’s been in the hospital about a week now.  Every night after work I’m up there and I spent all weekend there, too.  She had a hard time last night and my dad ended up spending the night at the hospital with her.  I thought I was going to have to do the same Saturday night.  It’s killing me to be stuck here at work, rather than staying with her at the hospital and giving my dad a break.  I want to be there, to be able to look after her, help care for her, support her and just hug her when she needs it.  It’s hard to be at this job on a normal day,  with her in the hospital, it’s been hell.  I no longer care about this job.  I will be taking several days off starting when she is discharged from the hospital, so that I can help get her settled at home.  But after being there all weekend, it’s hard to be away.

As for the job, I’m putting the job search on hold for now.  I’ve only managed to get 5 resumes out there in the past month or so and haven’t heard a thing.  I just don’t have the time and the mental, physical and emotional capability to pursue it right now.  Besides, even if I were to find a job and they approved me having 2.5 weeks off during Christmas, that’s still 2.5 weeks without pay.  So, taking a hint from my exhaustion and lack of response to what I have put out there, I’m not going to look for another job until January.  This decision, however, has brought about it’s own emotional toll on me.  I know the months will fly by, but it seems like such a long time right now.   The thought of staying here that longs depresses me, too.

So much happening lately.  I actually need to sign off as my lunch coverage will be here shortly, but I just wanted to post a little update, get some things off my shoulders and promise to write here more often, if only for my own mental health’s sake.  :-)

Edited to add:  

Oh, and another thing driving me crazy?  I ordered my laptop from Sam's Club and they are STILL processing my damned order.  Okay, so I only ordered it at midnight Friday morning, but come on!  What's killing me is that they have them here in town, but because the membership is in my parent's name, I didn't want to drag my dad away from the hospital and my mom to go with me to get it.  So I ordered online.  Crap.  However, once it FINALLY gets here, I think I will name it Barton.  Oh, and check out the skin I ordered for it:

Doesn't it just ROCK!  I love it!

Plus Princess, the director of the location I work at, is working at figuring out a way for me to get the timesheets up to our main location by 10 am on the day they are due.  Only problem is, he should have figured this out months ago when we first moved!!!   This place drives me crazy!!

 Edited once again to say:

Holy Schnockers!  I tried to order my laptop online and then pick it up in the store, but I thought it wouldn't let me do that, so I just ordered it for delivery.  Yeah, I just tried again and guess what?  It worked.  OMIGAWD.  I could have had my laptop this weekend.  *smacks self very hard*  This wait is unbearable...